Attitudes Black Ballet
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 PAUL MAYER ATTITUDES GAZE SUEDE BALLET FLAT BLACK WOMENS SHOE 9579 65  US $250.00
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 Paul Mayer Attitudes Women's Country Chelsea Ballet Flat Sale Price: $230.00 |
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 Attitudes by Paul Mayer Women's Galop Geneva Ballet Flat Sale Price: $235.00 |
Do you like my story so far?
It's really short, it's just the prologue so anyway here it is:
I looked at the mirror and stared at the person in front of me. She had straight brown hair up in a ponytail, dark blue skinny jeans, a shirt that had a yellow happy face on it, hoop earrings, and black ballet flats. This was the best I could do. This year I WILL fit in, no matter what Kelsey, Maddie, and Claire do to me. This is a new year and a new me. I'm not that stupid, geeky girl from last year, I'm the new and improved me. This new look and attitude will get Kelsey and her clique begging to join mine. But of course, I'll reject them, just like they did to me. Let's see how they feel when I give them a taste of their own medicine
Ok I know I'm a horrible writer, just tell me what you think. Thanx!
Look I'm not mean, and i would never do this in real life, i just like experimenting with different characters
You're not a terrible writer. Not at all.
I just think that the plot is cliche. A geeky girl is trying to fit in with a popular crowd. I can surely relate (boy, can I relate), but it's been done hundreds of times. Try to give it a more interesting plot.
Although this would be good in the middle of a story, it's not very attention grabbing. It doesn't make me want to keep on reading. If you're going to write a prologue, make it so it's very exciting.
Other than that, well done!
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